Perhaps the worst thing about a divorce is having to go through a custody battle. I must tell you that if you can avoid fighting over custody please do so. First you will spend money on your attorney, the attorney for your children (AFC) and then you may also need a forensic evaluation. Litigation can also last several years and the stress on your children can very likely be something that will stay with them.
In an effort to “win” or hurt the other spouse, a parent may speak ill will about their spouse to the children. They will, in response to hearing that the soon to be ex-spouse was bad mouthing them, attempt to get proof and record the children saying what took place. This is a bad idea. First, when you are with your children, your focus should be helping them get through this difficult time. Second, recording them may be held against you in court. If you are forced to go to trial, you will testify to what the children said to you. (Your lawyer will explain how to get through the hearsay objections.) If you enter evidence of a recording of your children, the focus will move away from what they said and fall squarely onto why you would tape your children and put them in such a precarious situation. Keep in mind, you may have this tape for months or literally years before your trial commences. Also, remember the judge will be asking questions directly to your children and if your spouse is speaking ill of you then the judge will find out about it. Also, if there are concerns, tell the AFC about it, for it is her/his job to deal with these issues before they become out of control.
If you are forced to fight over custody keep your children’s best interest’s paramount at all times. They are going through a hard time. Taking care of their emotional needs should be most important and should be your main priority. You may not be able to control what your spouse does and/or says, but you can absolutely control what you do.
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