Finding out that your spouse cheated on you more than likely placed you in emotional torment. I am sure that heartache was inflicted on you and to add to this pain, you now feel that you need to make a decision regarding the future of your marriage. Do you forgive or is this an unforgivable act that will result in divorce? My first word of advice is even though you are hurt and angry do not make any decisions based upon the rawness of this news. Divorce is a major life altering decision and while you feel betrayed and hurt, think about divorce very carefully. If there is any chance to salvage your marriage, then you should seek marriage counseling. If you know that you can never forgive and want to divorce, then be mindful of these practical things.
First, if there are children, protect them the best you can. It serves no purpose to include your children in your divorce. They should be protected as best as possible. This is between you and your spouse and not your children. They are innocent and will be upset enough regarding the divorce, they do not need to know the details. Second, realize, that while cheating is a horrible thing, unless marital assets were dissipated during the affair, adultery will not have a large financial impact on your divorce. Moreover, proving adultery is more difficult than you may believe. When it comes to filing for divorce, your attorney should advise you to dissolve your marriage based on an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage or DRL (Domestic Relations Law) 170(7). It serves no real purpose on trying to pursue a divorce based on adultery, which may end up delaying the proceedings. Another factor to keep in mind is that if you insist on filing based solely on adultery, you will probably spend money on a trial which would be better utilized for your family.
Do not let the hurt fuel your divorce proceedings. Do not act out of spite or revenge, it serves no purpose. If you decide to get divorced do so within the parameters of the proceedings as behaving any other way will be financially and emotionally costly.
As best as you can, focus on what is important to you, which should be moving forward with your life as quickly and efficiently as possible---however that may look to you. Fighting in court because of the pain caused to you will only increase legal fees and delay your ability to heal and move forward with your life.
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